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the Urban Dater is on Tumblr Now… Do You Care?

the Urban Dater is on Tumblr Now… Do You Care?

The moment that pain becomes or doubt becomes more consistent than happiness and clarity is the moment you need to reassess. 3: Get comfortable with your own company One of the biggest senses of peace you can ever feel, is when you are completely content in your own company. the only person who should ever be responsible for your happiness is YOU and, therefore, the sooner you are able to complete yourself the better. This isn’t about being a feminist , trying to prove your independence, or that you “don’t need a man” but rather just having a sense of joy even as a singleton. The best relationship you can have with someone is one in which they do not complete your happiness but rather ADD to it consistently instead. 4: Work out what you want There’s no point throwing away all your efforts on men that just aren’t what you are after because at the end of the day it’s time wasting for both parties (and not to mention exhausting and expensive!). Get a clear idea of what it is exactly that you want AND need, and then write it down so that you won’t forget it when you are lonely and tempted to settle for second best. You can choose who you allow entering your world and heart , so make sure that person is aligned with what you really want and need. 5: Identify the toxic ones It’s easy to create patterns in your life that you aren’t aware of , and even after the fifteenth breakup whilst crying into a bucket of ice cream we still haven’t worked out “ what went wrong?!” The truth is when you constantly date wrong you will get the same wrong result! You are the one in control of your decisions and you are the common denominator in your relationships so essentially it’s up to you how you want things to turn out. Learn to identify the red flags before you start to let them turn into little red hearts. 6: Understand what real love is The main problem with love is that many people haven’t actually grasped what it actually looks like.ashleymadison reviews

Love is not a verb, it is an action, and a daily action at that ( that can and should still be put into practice even if the emotion has left). If you aren’t sure what a healthy relationship looks like , then get educated and make it a priority to equip yourself with this knowledge so you can set yourself up to receive it. You were created to live a life filled with joy and to have whole, healthy and happy relationships, so stop selling yourself short and start inviting the love you are deserving of into your life now. Photo Cred: Charlie Hang Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook2Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Dating & Relationships Tagged in: Dating, Relationships In my first post on the topic of conversation I write about approaches and mechanics of conversation, primarily centered on open and closed questions and understanding when and how to use them.  This post looks to expand on that topic and give you, the reader, some ammunition to help make those conversations better or, at least, a little less awkward.So start with thinking of questions that require a open response, questions that take thought and interpretation. Ask your date what their  their worst job or even worst boss was. This is sure to stir up some good conversation and lend you some insight into how your date responds to negativity.  Take note if they remain bitter over it. It could indicate that they hold grudges, or even just seeing the forest through the trees… What is one food you just can’t live without? This is a fun one to ask as well, because you gain some insight into their tastes obviously.  A lot of times people will associate this question with childhood favorites, or is connected to a memory and that is yet another jumping off point by asking your date why they like the food they mentioned. What’s your weirdest habit? If your date makes an effort and actually answers this then that is a good sign that they are having fun.

  If they don’t choose to answer it they may be uncomfortable or a bit stuffy. You can always offer your own answer to start and that can help ease tension, at your own expense. If you won the lottery, what would you do with it? This question is fun, I think, because there’s a lot of places you can take it.  If your date gives you a straight forward answer like taking care of the parents, buying a house and saving the rest, that’s cool, but there’s more fun to have with it.  Because of my sense of humor, I usually tend to err on the side of outlandishness.   I’d buy a nuclear powered slingshot water cannon, or a child launcher or a small army of pet komodo dragons. I know.  I’m weird.

How be an Attractive Man in Your 20s

Your most terrifying moment. I like this question because it really does open things for a serious answer.  Also, it can give you insight into how your date views life and death as well as their spiritual inclinations. What season do you most anticipate? I like this question because, certainly, somebody’s got to have a time of the year that they prefer more than another.  Really, you get to kill two birds with one stone here.

  You’re able to dissect likes and dislikes the winter, you can comment on how that doesn’t surprise you given their lack of a good tan… i mean, don’t be a dick, but be playful.  My default setting is jerk, by the way.  That will get you slapped more often than not. I’m just saying. The important thing here is to use these topics to get your date to open up, especially if you’re not sure what to talk about.  Then, ideally, you can move on to another topic that either you or your date is more comfortable with.  Remember, people really do enjoy talking about themselves. If they say otherwise, they’re pants are most assuredly on fire.

Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook0Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Asides, Date Ideas, Tips & Advice Tagged in: Conversation, Dating Don’t leave your body language to chance! Real men are prepared to modify their body language for dates, subsequent social interactions, get-togethers with her friends, and dinner at her parents’ house, usually in that order, and they don’t just go about their body language willy-nilly. You can’t take a haphazard approach to body language because it’s one of the most important determinations of everything going on inside you that a woman looks at when thinking about you. You don’t want to just leave it to your verbal language alone to win a girl over. Let’s talk about how you can show confidence with body language. Stay Away from Your Pockets Keep those hands out of your pockets. People put their hands in their pockets when they’re nervous or uncertain about who they are. If you’re presenting a case to a woman about why she should choose you, then you don’t want to show her that you have an unsure picture of yourself. This will make you look unstable and make her think that she’s getting involved with the wrong kind of guy. Keeping your hands out in the open, and gesticulating lot, shows that you don’t have anything to hide and want to be very expressive. Tie this in with a V-neck t-shirt, and you’ll show the women that you’re more open emotionally too. A man that knows who he is and is very emotional also, is a very big turn-on. Don’t Fidget Around Fidgeting is a sure sign of nervousness.

A man who can’t sit still, is a man who is scared, unconfident, and tense. Your hands can be your biggest foes, and you should work to keep them steady and still. You should certainly talk with your hands, and keeping them moving is a good thing, but still make sure they’re under control and calm. Furthermore, when you’re sitting down, avoid that rapid-leg movement that some men do when they’re scared, because it looks like a dog that’s getting its belly scratched, and it’s very unsightly. Keep Your Eyes Looking Forward Keeping your eyes looking level could be one of the biggest ways to show that you have confidence in your body language. When you’re walking somewhere, it often feels normal to look down toward your feet and watch your step. However, when you do this in conversation, it shows that you don’t want to communicate with other people or interact. If you’re not aware of this, you could end up doing it all the time. Keep your eyes looking forward and your chin up, even when you’re just walking down the street all by yourself. Stand Straight with Your Shoulders Back too Standing up straight is one of the surest ways to project confidence. It shows that you’re assertive, confident, and in control. Follow these four tips and you will emit confidence in front of your hot date and increase your manly-attractive scale up a notch, as far as body language goes anyways. Body language is an often-overlooked step in projecting confidence on a date so keep that in mind!

Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook2Tweet0Pin1 Posted in: Dates & Details, Tips & Advice Tagged in: Body Language, Dating Did your ex cheat on you? Did he break up with you with unjustifiable reasons? Well, Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Try out these quirky methods to get your ex rolling in the palm of your hands. 1. Stop eating junk food Don’t add the calories. Eating unhealthy food won’t take you anywhere but a lonely sofa date in front of your TV scooping a spoonful of ice cream. 2. Quit drinking excessive alcohol And if you can help it, give up smoking too.

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What they do is just shorten your life span. Besides alcohol won’t help you solve anything. 3. Don’t pester him with calls or messages This will just annoy him even more and can imply your desperation. 4. Disappear from his view for a while Make him miss you.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder, give him time to think about you. 5. Read the Art of Seduction by Robert Greene Get some advice from an expert. Learn the simple gestures and the psychology behind seducing someone. 6. Start exercising and eating healthy Be in your best shape, you’ll feel lighter, healthier and better after you work out more plus a proper diet. 7. Glam up How about a little make-up and a facial here and there? A girl should always be in her best form. 8. Maintain constant contact with your common friends This is hitting two birds with one stone. You get updates of him through your friends at the same time they could tell your ex what is going on about you. 9. Stop moping around and get out there No point in all day. Go out, travel and live out your life. Don’t let the breakup hold you down. 10.

Get preoccupied with new discoveries such as learn pole dancing, pottery, culinary or do yoga Being busy in new routines will help your mind take off unnecessary stress. Do something good and improve your lifestyle like being productive and changing for the better. 11. Open yourself up to changes Stop being negative and close-minded all the time.topadultreview.com Welcome new positive changes in your life, remember opportunity knocks only once. 12. Go on casual dates arranged by your friends You are beautiful. He’s not the only guy that could develop interest in you. This is a good way to boost your self-esteem. 13. Wear clothes that match you perfectly It doesn’t have to be too daring or overly exposed; the perfect dress would match your personality and at the same time accentuate your assets. 14. When it’s time to show yourself to your ex, relax and just be yourself Compose yourself; you don’t have to act like “it’s nothing”. Don’t act, he may see through your little shenanigan. Instead, just relax and don’t be too conscious, after all you two are over right? 15.

Have fun Don’t let him spoil your fun. Just imagine he’s not there and enjoy the moment. 16. Show him you’re more than okay Don’t let him get to you either. If says anything unpleasant to you, ignore it. It’s not even worth it to be talking to that kind of guy. And if he asks about you, tell positive things, almost like you’re not affected. 17. Emphasize the “more” and the “-er” in your life now More beautiful, happier, healthier, and to simplify everything, “better”. Tell stories of your recent adventures and fun-packed experiences. 18. Let him know that you’re a catch It says it all. Make him know that he’s not the only guy in the world. However, you don’t have to flirt all night to prove it.

You can just make a connection or two with other guys to prove your point. 19. Don’t flirt with him Keep it casual to show him that you’re not that desperate for his attention. Treat him with familiarity, but since you two are over, let him know he can only be in your friend-zone (for now at least). 20. Play Hard to Get and Prolong his agony Don’t get too close for comfort. Every man likes a challenge. Wait for him to make the first move, like baiting him in with anticipation. And finally, just show him that you’ve moved on and you’re loving it. That will surely get his attention. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox!

Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook1Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Online Dating Material things, sports, cars, money or even putting on more muscle are often interesting topics for guys. Many women would welcome a little more spirituality and care for the soul. So how can women encourage their men to focus on their spiritual side without being overbearing? Here are some ideas that might help. Ideas To Help Your Man Be More Spiritual Take a vacation to a spiritual destination. One of the ways to help your man become more spiritual is to make a journey to the kind of place that will awaken his spiritual side. There are some beautiful churches, and historical sites in the US with religious significance. Or if you’ve got a bit more money at your disposal, take a trip to a spiritual destination like a temple in India or Nepal where he can see how simple, spiritual people live and where he can talk and share ideas with these people. This method will also suit your needs putting you more in touch with yourself and the world. Encourage him to read the Bible or other inspirational books. Contrasting with the expensive way of a long-term or short-term travel there is always the way of the book. If you think your man may not be open to the idea of reading scripture, there are a wide variety of books that encourage and inspire men to improve.

Send him articles and other type of information that have spiritual meaning or sense. Read everything you send and be prepared for a discussion on the topic. Show him how to meditate and/or how to pray. This can be an interesting experience, especially if your man has never tried it before. Sometime prayer and meditation are personal and private, so if he seems reluctant, don’t pressure him, but allow him the time alone to try on his own. Attend a church meeting. There are sure to be a variety of church meetings in your area, try attending several and determine which feels like the best fit for you. He just might meet other guys at church that he can relate to, and that will also help him fit in. Try a movie night. One of these nights slip in a movie with a spiritual message. Sometimes it is a simple message that strikes the right chord.

Helping others. You certainly don’t have to be religious to offer help and service to other, but often times, selfless acts of service create a internal happiness and joy that may inspire him to pursue other spiritual activities in life that create those same types of feelings. Love him unconditionally, and be an example. Spiritual or not, he’s your man, love him for who he is, and focus on his good qualities. He wont feel pressure, but a desire to provide you with the things that are important to you. If you want him to be more spiritual, become more spiritual yourself. Set a good example, and you’re actions just might inspire him. The best way to make sure these methods will be successful is to offer these options in a time of his life when you see he needs a break, a refuge or some guidance. He may receive the suggestion with a lot of enthusiasm. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook3Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Uncategorized As I mentioned before, I had decided to go out and meet this girl against my better judgment.  To her credit she did tell me that she planned on meeting up with friends and that some of them might be drunk and that she’d have understood if I wanted to wait for another time. Well, I took it to my tweeps and asked them for their thoughts.  They seemed to think that I should go and see what was what, so to speak.  I took their advice and headed out.

I instantly spotted the place I was to meet up with this gal, Jan.  Why? It was the place where there were two guys getting thrown out with the loud thumping music.  Upon going inside, I noticed that it was packed, like sardines.  I got a drink and then Jan found me at the bar.  We chatted very briefly before she introduced me to her one drunk friend and a collection of mormons who were dancing it off on the dance floor. It really was an odd assortment of people, but everyone seemed nice.  The drunk friend, Caroline, was “plastered.” I think she wanted to fight me, which is kinda hot; generally I have to pay for that sort of action, but I digress. We walked, or rather carried, Caroline to another friend’s car and sent them on their way.  Jan and I were then able to talk.  We actually had a pretty decent conversation.  Though, I did feel she was testing me and challenging some of the things I was saying.  She has a “Type A” personality for sure and that’s what I’ve noticed about those types of people. They do test and prod to make sure they’re not getting a “door mat.” At least that’s been my experience. Anyway, after all the chaos that ensued with her drunk friend I did get to have a nice conversation and we are set to go out again within the next week.

  All in all, not too shabby.  I’m glad I took a chance. Sometimes rules are meant to be broken, even if your gut says otherwise. Signup for Our Newsletter Get Us in Your Inbox! Online Dating, Sex, and Relationship Advice Tips in Your Inbox… Follow @theurbandater Like this:Like Loading… Share This Article Facebook1Tweet0Pin0 Posted in: Dates & Details Tagged in: Dating, Online Dating, Self Everyone strives for that “happily ever after” in their relationship–whether the relationship is good or bad, the goal remains the same. So the question is, “Is this something only in books and movies, or is this something real?” The answer to both is yes. In fairy tales and movies, the writer draws you into the happily ever after by creating a long lasting relationship with the main characters. What he or she does not show you, however, is that to obtain a happily ever after, you must work at it and work hard. Movies and books make it seem so simple: something bad happens, someone does something good, then happily ever after. I have been with my wife for over twenty years and neither one of us can recall the last time we had a fight or an argument.

We both know it has been two to three years, but we are measuring in years. So how did we make this happen (this includes having three teens in the house right now who are being homeschooled)? We follow eleven simple steps, and not just with each other either–these apply to everyone in our lives. Step 1: Communication There must be communication between both parties to know what each other is thinking and feeling. Far too often we get caught up in “I think,” or “I am guessing.” Take those out of the equation and just ask.

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